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AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 "Hollywood Week" - will make new thread when Top 36 starts **SPOILERS INSIDE**
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Re: AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 "Hollywood Week" - will make new thread when Top 36 starts **SPOILERS INSIDE**
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Houster
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Jee Jee Jee Jee
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01/18/09 8:17 PM
OK, I'm not making the recapper's thread yet, because its too early (that will be either during the Hollywood weeks or the start of the semifinals), but here's my rundown of this week's festivities.
First of all, I think the show is doing a better job with these auditions. Very few nutcases, no exploitation of disabilities, mental handicaps, or sexual ambivalence. Although they have got to stop with the schmaltziness and sob stories. I'm not quite old enough to remember "Queen For A Day" (and some of the guys who audition fit that bill), but if this keeps up, I'd be inclined to find one of Jack Bailey's grandchidren, bring out the ancient applause meter, and give Danny Gokey a Kenmore Washer-Dryer.
So I'll start off with the obvious. VON SMITH. It took about three hours of "Idol" for me to emit my first "Oy Vey" of the year. When he sang, I was literally holding my hands over my ears and laughing at the same time. And the took him! WTF? (Sure, the PA's Googled him and fouind out that Rosie O'Donnell put him on "The View" where he exhibited his macho masculinity by singing "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" from the play/movie Dreamgirls. If Jennifer Hudson doesn't choke this guy first, I will. See, Von would dance to "YMCA" by the Village People; he couldn't sing it.
He was shrieky to say the least; not at all interesting; and, as Rodney Dangerfield would say, And Your Hat Is Ugly, Too.
Let's put it this way: If I wanted to hire an Air Raid Siren or a Town Crier, I'd higher Von Smith. A recording artist? NO.
So now that I got the first person I'm going to hate out of the way (Junot Joyner, Joanna Pacitti, and Taylor Vaifanua are yet to come), "Idol" kicks off with the Temperature at 106 degrees in the Valley of the Sun and the home of the Super Bowl-headed Arizona Cardinals. And it seems fans of Gasp(y)er The Friendly Ghost collectively got heat stroke and went loopy when David Cook beat him. Never mind that Archie's fan base isn't so big, as he's not going to even get close to going platinum.
WIth Nigel Lythgoe departing, the background music is improving, with The Lovin' Spoonful's "Summer In The City" playing in the background. John Sebastian may be about 70 years old, but he'd make a great mentor.
The first auditioner gave the chills, in a bad way. I was working for a New York Criminal Court Judge in 1991, and one of the defendants whose name I remember was a guy named
Tuan Nguyen.
Who just happened to have gotten convicted of murder. But this Tuan Nguyen is not the same guy; instead, he got his haircut from 1970's editions of "Tige Beat," channeling a combination of Marty Allen, Richard Simmons, and Leo Sayer. Too bad Leo Sayer, as cheesy as he was, could probably sing The Gloved One's "The Way You Make Me Feel" better, or Tuan's case, Worse.
If anyone watches "The Weather Channel" in the morning, you'll get this one. It seems that Nicole Mitchell got tattoos all over her body and turned into a rocker.
Emily
"Nicole"
Wynne-Hughes
, sings "Barracuda" well enough to get the lead in "Heart: The Musical." Moe voted for her, but the look on his face was, fuggedaboutid! We'll see if in Hollywood, Nicole takes off her ankle monitoring bracelet and hits the sauce (hint).
Randy Madden
, age 27, thinks he's a rock star in a box, just add water, but he's just a Dilbert with a leaky faucet. He's not aware that Roy Orbison sang "Crying" (as did Aerosmith in a different song we are familiar with), and that literally crying before his audition will get him sent to Kansas.
To prove just how much a rocker he is, he sings Bon Jovi's "Livin On A Prayer," notwithstanding that half of America's rock fans don;t count Jon Bon Jovi as a rocker anymore. He was blah. Moe called him "Wimpy," so now I must break out my old line for Moe: "If you by me a hom-burger, I'll gladly pay you Tuesday."
To be continued. Child care break.
Edited 1 time by
Houster
01/21/09 7:18 AM.
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